45 Years Ago - Today

It was 45 years ago today that my father married my step mother. I remember this because I've been asked to keep a journal of my thoughts and impressions over the next 8 weeks...
and looking at today's date I am reminded of this event...
One that would "lock and key" my imagination and freedom for many years.

Wow...
My father was no longer married to my stepmother at the time of his death a few years ago..and I'd not really spoken to my stepmother at all over the years since my father's retirement and their subsequent divorce which is now over 25 years ago.

What I do realize, in a recent conversation with my stepmother that her comment was "Who would have known I had so much talent"

This is the woman that raised me from the age of 8 years old. Isn't it fascinating that inside my world and mind was the most creative and imaginative place of wonder that I can remember .... and my appearance to the one of the most influence over me thought I'd not had any talent at all....

I am astounded at the discovery and thought of how my inner and external world could be so different.

And I am astounded at the fact that for so many years from the age of 8 all the way through my 20's, and perhaps even longer now that I think on it....that i NEVER ever revealed my truest nature...

and as I say that I am taken over by a hot flash of truth and realization.
How can it be that I spent so many years hiding my authentic self from the public....especially now that I have discovered and revealed via a massive immersion into personal development that I am a constant and effusive and never ending source of creativity and artistic expression.

Its astounding to me as I write this.

I am so happy that as I write this entry ...that I took the initiative to discover my truest nature....and to not accept the roles and ideas that were imposed upon me of what I should be or how I should live